Mediocre Fight of the Day

The Mediocre Fight

Well it’s been about a month since our first post, but you should start seeing much more frequent posts here with the introduction of our “Mediocre Fight of the Day” series.  Will these actually be daily posts?  Doubtful, we have better things to do draw pictures for the entertainment of the unwashed masses (just kidding! loooove you <3 ).

The first up in our series:  Cute Bunny vs Carrot with a Face.  Who will win?  In one corner, we have a cute bunny with a thirst for the blood of carrots (I think that’s just carrot juice.  I could be wrong).  In the other corner, we have a carrot with a mouth!  The only thing he can do with his mouth is scream, he has no teeth.  He’s also not really mobile because he doesn’t have any limbs either.  But, what if he has incredible psychic powers like in the movie Scanners?  Within seconds we may see the bunny’s head explode from the incredibly psychic energies of the screaming carrot.

Or, the bunny may just eat the shit out of the carrot as bunnies are wont to do.  In either case, we hope you enjoy.

Cute Bunny vs Carrot with a Face

Mediocre Fight of the Day: Feb 9 2011


3 Responses to “Mediocre Fight of the Day”

  • Jason Says:

    Blackberry saw his prey in front of him. The prey was orange and pointy, the way a carrot is and a radish is not. He prepared to pounce stealthily, like a rabbit preparing to devour a head of lettuce. He thought of all the tasty morsels he had consumed in his life before this, the flavorful grass of his home in Sandleford, the celery stalks left out in the field, the dandelions of the previous night. But nothing could prepare him for this deliciousness.

    His saliva flowed into his mouth like a waterfall, his face grew excited the way only a rabbit’s can. The carrot had a face, too. The carrot knew his time was up and readied himself to flee. As Blackberry approached, he turned to run, but alas! he realized he’s a carrot and has no means of locomotion.

    Blackberry bit down into the crispy flesh of the carrot ravenously. The carrot screamed (he can do that because while he had no legs or arms, he did have a mouth and vocal cords). It appeared to everyone present that Blackberry had won this round. But wait! In his excitement, the gray bunny with his adorable floppy years had gotten a little too excited. Mid-chomp, his rapid breathing (rabbits have a very fast heart rate and thus increased pulmonary velocity) betrayed him and a chunk of the carrot went down the wrong pipe. With no one around to give him the Heimlich maneuver–and since bunnies don’t go to CPR class and rabbits would have ever heard of Dr. Henry Heimlich, not to mention the Universal Sign for Choking is physiologically impossible for a rabbit to make due to the shape of their elbos–Blackberry choked and slowly his heartbeat slowed.

    “Oh hraka!” Blackberry thought quizzically, “hraka” being Lapine for poop, and fell to his side, defeated. The carrot would wear scars from that battle for the rest of his days (two to be exact), but he would tell his Carrotine brothers of the epic battle with the great Evil Rabbit of Destruction.

  • Is Not Chicago » My New Band Makes an Album Says:

    [...] inane similies, it’s the best terrible writing I can come up with. Check the comments on: Rabbit vs Carrot with Face (heavily inspired by Watership Down), Puppy vs Its Reflection, and possibly the greatest piece of [...]

  • Is Not Chicago » My New Band Makes an Album Says:

    [...] and inane similies, it’s the best terrible writing I can come up with. Check the comments on: Rabbit vs Carrot with Face (heavily inspired by Watership Down), Puppy vs Its Reflection, and possibly the greatest piece of [...]

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