Mediocre Fight of the Day: Fat Guy vs Little Coat

The Mediocre Fight

Richard? Is this your coat?  On Part 2 of our 2 Day “Ode to Fat Men” series, we examine beautiful brawling ballet of bulge beating blazer in Fat Man vs Little Coat.  As with all struggles involving large amounts of fat, this again is as humorous as it is sad, but this one can have a clear winner in the end.  Because as history has proven, the fat guy may be able to rip the little coat seam to seam- but the coat will have the last laugh when years later the fat guy overdoses on morphine and cocaine.

And on that happy note, here it is!

Fat Guy vs Little Coat

Mediocre Fight of the Day: Feb 12, 2011

As always, if you have a mediocre fight you’d like to see contact us any way your little heart desires.  Leave a comment here, tweet us @MediocreFight, find us on Facebook, shoot us an e-mail at The Mediocre Fight, or send Adam a Strippergram.


One Response to “Mediocre Fight of the Day: Fat Guy vs Little Coat”

  • Jason Says:

    From Tommy Boy: The Novel based on a True Story

    Tommy returned to the hotel exhausted from an long day of trying to sell car parts. Richard was bemused by Tommy’s antics earlier in the day. In their efforts to save Tommy’s father’s ailing business they had not managed to sell even a single brake pad.

    Frustrated by Richard’s inability to understand him, Tommy asked, “You know what Richard? You don’t know me as good as you think you do. I care a bout stuff. I’m getting better at this sales thing.” He tossed his hair quickly and dramatically. “Well, I’m not, but I could if you could help me.”

    “Forget it, I’ve got enough to do without having to change your diapers,” replied Richard resigning himself to the couch.

    In the playful and naïve manner that Tommy always acts, he looked around, hoping desparately for inspiration of how to cheer up his reluctant compatriot. He saw Richard’s coat laying on the nearby chair. “Richard, is this your coat?” he said picking up the coat and beginning to don it. “Hehehe,” he laughed mischieviously.

    “Don’t Do it.”

    “Fat guy in a little coat,” Tommy said. “Fat guy in a little coat,” he repeated.

    “Don’t,” Richard expounded, clearly not amusedly.

    “Fat guy in a little coat,” Tommy began singing and spinning around in a circle. Tommy’s girth made the juxaposition of a large man and a small coat clearly too small for him all the more humorous. “Fat guy in a little coat,” he sung again in a joyful melody.

    “Take it off dickhead, I’m serious,” Richard said emphatically.

    Disappointed by his interlocutor’s reluctance to be cheered up, he gave up his song. “Richard, what’s happening?” His forceful gesticulations led his hands forward, leading his shoulders forward, and the coat, strained at the seams, tore right down the middle.

    This was a metaphor for their relationship, the fat guy representing the idiot savant Tommy and the coat representing their strained, but blossoming friendship that would be torn asunder no matter Tommy’s attempts at comedy. Much the way the following night Tommy would walk in on Richard masturbating and issuing a stream of masturbatory puns would be a symbol for Richard’s loneliness and his inability to to connect even with someone who loved him fraternally.

    “What kind of hotel is this?” thought Richard.

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