As promised, here’s the second Mediocre Fight of the Day. This one features Republican presidential front-runner, and Congresswoman from my home state of MN, Michele Bachmann. It also features her crazy-ass eyes. I mean, look at this – this is a completely undoctored photo of her.
It’s like she’s staring into my soul. Actually no, it’s like she’s trying to forcibly tear my soul from my body with her mind. I don’t know which of her publicists gave the green-light for this magazine cover, but wow. I decided to take a stab at photoshopping her to actually make her look sane, and did a pretty good job of it. Then I realized photoshopped pictures making people look normal aren’t very entertaining, so I went ahead and made an animated gif out of it instead.
I apologize to anyone I inadvertently hypnotized with this image.
Now, Minnesota is no stranger to lunatics in office. We did elect Jesse “The Body” Ventura as our governor once, if you’ll recall. But Bachmann has her own special brand of crazy, as evidenced by some of her quotes:
“I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out under another, then under another Democrat president, Jimmy Carter. I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.” -Rep. Michele Bachmann, on the 1976 Swine Flu outbreak that happened when Gerald Ford, a Republican, was president
“Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.”
“If we took away the minimum wage — if conceivably it was gone — we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level.”
Ok you know, in all fairness maybe she’s not crazy. She could just be another idiot. As Sarah Palin has demonstrated, being an outspoken woman politician with minimal intelligence can actually be quite lucrative. So maybe she’s actually a financial genius?
Oh, and if you need any more evidence that Michele’s PR people should probably be fired, I leave you with this last image:
I mean, wow. There are no words. Again, not a doctored photo.
As always, if YOU have a mediocre fight you’d like to see contact us any way your little heart desires. Leave a comment here, tweet us @MediocreFight, find us on Facebook, shoot us an e-mail at The Mediocre Fight, or have some crazy-ass eyes, run for President, and fellate a corndog.
In case you aren’t up on your Nic Cage news, he was arrested this weekend for drunk and disorderly conduct. He was in the street in New Orleans arguing with his wife about whether the house they were in front of was theirs, and then started punching cars… seriously. Even better, do you want to know who bailed him out? Dog the Bounty Hunter. Yes, Dog the Bounty Hunter bailed Nicolas Cage out of jail.
This also makes me wonder about his movie career – is he actually acting, or is he just playing himself in every single role? To aid you in pondering this question, please watch this YouTube video titled, “Nicolas Cage Losing His Shit.” You will not be disappointed.
As always, if YOU have a mediocre fight you’d like to see contact us any way your little heart desires. Leave a comment here, tweet us @MediocreFight, find us on Facebook, shoot us an e-mail at The Mediocre Fight, or “act” batshit insane in all of your movies.
This morning, in an act of selfless bravery, Chris Brown destroyed a window at the Good Morning America studio before it had a chance to attack anyone. During an interview with Robin Roberts, Chris Brown was being asked about his altercation with Rihanna. He became agitated during the interview after he caught a glimpse of the window, plotting in the corner. Knowing he couldn’t attack it outright, he acted like everything was normal and performed a new song from his new album. After he finished he circled around behind the evil, unsuspecting window and smashed it, saving both the audience and Robin Roberts from inevitable harm. Then, like a hero on the cover of a romance novel, he strode from the studio shirtless without even waiting to be thanked.
We will thank you, Chris. Thank you for keeping the world safe from windows everywhere.
As always, if YOU have a mediocre fight you’d like to see contact us any way your little heart desires. Leave a comment here, tweet us @MediocreFight, find us on Facebook, shoot us an e-mail at The Mediocre Fight, or if you’re a celebrity you can just go batshit crazy like everyone else.