Feb 25 2011

Mediocre Fight of the Day: Britain vs Dentistry

The Mediocre Fight

As the week comes to a close, we also close out our Country Series with the mediocre fight of Britain vs Dentistry.  Yadda yadda yadda, British people are known for bad teeth.  Here you go:

I actually found something that I thought was more interesting while I was searching for photos of bad teeth to look through.  The same guy was showing up in almost every search I made, so I decided to see what was up and clicked his photo, which took me to a stock images website.  I don’t know how much you get paid for modeling for stock photography, but I couldn’t imagine it would be worth this.

Here are the first 4 photos I found of him, along with the description that’s next to them:

"Ugly man showing off crooked yellow teeth"

"Crazy wacky ugly man with crooked teeth and acne and veins above his eyes"

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"Teenage looks embarrassed and confused about the pimples that are showing up all over his face."

"Teenage looks embarrassed and confused about the pimples that are showing up all over his face."

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So yeah, dude’s definitely ugly, and I guess props for him for finding a way to profit from his ugliness.  But these are stock photos – not only are they on the internet for anyone to see, but his face could be plastered all over anything.  Like in the third picture – maybe that gets in an advertisement for hemorrhoids.  Or better yet the first picture gets used on a pedophile watch list website.  I just hope this guy has time to sit down and question his life decisions.

Anyways, if you have a mediocre fight you’d like to see contact us any way your little heart desires.  Leave a comment here, tweet us @MediocreFight, find us on Facebook, shoot us an e-mail at The Mediocre Fight, or take some hideous stock photos of yourself holding a sign with your mediocre fight request on it.


Feb 24 2011

Mediocre Fight of the Day: France vs Victory

The Mediocre Fight

For Day 3 of our 4 day “Country Series” of mediocre fights, we have France vs Victory.  I’m sure after this post we will be incredibly popular in France.  I don’t actually know any real French people though because I only hob-nob with winners.

Now I did some research into this, and it turns out that indeed France has never won at anything – why do you think everyone in the country is so crabby?  If there were an award given out to the country that loses everything, they would even lose that.  Although I guess if anyone won that it would immediately be untrue, and would probably tear a hole in the space-time continuum.  Hmm…

Anyways, some fun facts about France:

  • France has a 0% military victory rate
  • France lost a battle of wits against George W Bush
  • If France were ever to have a civil war and fight against itself, it would cease to exist as a country after both sides lost
  • France is the only country to ever lost a military battle to Platypuses. Platypi? No… platypuses sounds right.
  • France’s electrical grid is powered by shame and croissants.

I should also clarify, when I said “did some research” I meant “made a bunch of shit up.”

As always, if you have a mediocre fight you’d like to see contact us any way your little heart desires.  Leave a comment here, tweet us @MediocreFight, find us on Facebook, shoot us an e-mail at The Mediocre Fight, or write it on France’s white flag and wave it around.


Feb 23 2011

Mediocre Fight of the Day: Ireland vs Sack of Potatoes

The Mediocre Fight

Day 2 of our Country series.  I wrote you a little limerick, since the limerick is named after Limerick in Ireland.

There once was a Great Irish Famine,
No faces with ‘taters were crammin’.
But one thing was neat,
With nothing to eat,
Old fat girls were now all quite slammin’.

Mediocre Fight of the Day: Feb 23, 2011

As always, if you have a mediocre fight you’d like to see contact us any way your little heart desires.  Leave a comment here, tweet us @MediocreFight, find us on Facebook, shoot us an e-mail at The Mediocre Fight, or make a Wikipedia page for us and make up the backstory as to why we’re called The Mediocre Fight.


Feb 22 2011

Mediocre Fight of the Day: America vs Debt

The Mediocre Fight

Alright so I missed out on something patriotic for President’s day yesterday, but I’ll do an America mediocre fight today.  In fact, I’ll continue the rest of the week with a different country’s mediocre fight each day, so check back for France, Britain and Ireland later this week.

For starters we have America vs Debt.  I would love to see on our credit card statement how long it would take to pay off our debt if we made the minimum monthly payments.  China basically owns us right now.  If we were in a videogame they’d be nearing an economic victory.  At least when they eventually take over we’ll have some cool choreographed Superbowl halftime shows with some ninjas and shit.

Mediocre Fight of the Day: Feb 22, 2011

As always, if you have a mediocre fight you’d like to see contact us any way your little heart desires.  Leave a comment here, tweet us @MediocreFight, find us on Facebook, shoot us an e-mail at The Mediocre Fight, or write it in big flaming letters on our lawns.  Although I’m not sure if any of us own lawns, so you might just need to write it in fire on a rooftop.

On second though, please don’t commit arson in our name.