Well the day that I never thought would come has finally arrived: Glenn Beck has become too crazy for even Fox News to handle. I know, right? In a surprising move it’s been announced that Apocalypse-predicting crazy man Glenn beck will be leaving the “Fair and Balanced” network. The reason it surprises me is because he usually has such level-headed commentary, such as the following:
“I’m thinking about killing Michael Moore, and I’m wondering if I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it. … No, I think I could. I think he could be looking me in the eye, you know, and I could just be choking the life out. Is this wrong?” (hint: yes)
“This president I think has exposed himself over and over again as a guy who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture….I’m not saying he doesn’t like white people, I’m saying he has a problem. This guy is, I believe, a racist.”
So clearly, nothing he’s ever said could cause anyone to question his sanity, so I guess it’s a mystery as to why he was let go. Also, when he was announcing he was leaving he compared himself to Paul Revere, getting off his horse to fight a revolution. So, look forward to seeing the “Viva Revolución!” program coming soon on the Insanity Network, a public-access channel filmed and broadcast in Glenn Beck’s living room.
In unrelated news, the prices of the following items have plummeted due to a sudden unexpected decrease in demand: chalkboards, tissues, tinfoil hats, crucifixes and bottled crazy.
And as a reminder, we still need your help to make an album! Thanks to everyone who has supported us so far, and for those who are about to! You can learn more at The Mediocre Fight’s Kickstarter page
As always, if YOU have a mediocre fight you’d like to see contact us any way your little heart desires. Leave a comment here, tweet us @MediocreFight, find us on Facebook, shoot us an e-mail at The Mediocre Fight, or spout lots of extreme, racist, insane conspiracy theories.