Jul 7 2011

Mediocre Fight of the Day: Paul vs Coffee Tables


Before I made this post I had to make sure to give my mom a call since I know she reads this blog.  ”Alright, so you’re going to read about an… incident, but I want to assure you I’m okay and there’s no reason to worry.”  As a kid I was very reckless (I’ve broken an arm on 5 separate occasions), and I’m sure my mom was continually looking forward to a time when I’d grow up, mature, and start looking out for myself.  Well, apparently at 27 I still haven’t reached that point.

This past weekend my roommate and I threw a “JORTh of July” party, because honestly, what’s more patriotic than jean shorts?  (More on that later)  Since it was so insanely hot outside this weekend, we also decided to have some water balloons and super soakers on hand.  Here’s where the bad decision making comes in – remember when your mom used to tell you “No squirt guns in the house!”?  Well, we kind of ignored this sage advice, and I unfortunately learned the hard way that water is a bad thing on hardwood floors.  While running around like a jackass with the squirt gun, I managed to slip in a puddle, my feet shooting out from under me, and fall hard.  On our coffee table.  That has a glass top.  Thankfully I only hit my elbow and mostly got the side of the table so I didn’t get too badly injured, but here’s some of the aftermath:

Those are my bruised ribs, and my bruised and cut elbow.  So the moral of the story is: listen to your mother.  Even when you’re an adult, the advice she gave you as a kid still stands.  And yes, that is actually a photo of me from 6th grade.  I was a real ladykiller.



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