The Mediocre Fight

I don’t care if you’re nude for the feeling of freedom, you’re a full-on nudist, you ran out of laundry, or you’re really proud of yourself – standing around while hot oil is flying through the air is probably a pretty good time to throw on an apron at least.  While Bacon makes ALMOST everything it’s paired with better, there’s really not much it can do for third degree burns on your naughty bits.

As always, if YOU have a mediocre fight you’d like to see contact us any way your little heart desires.  Leave a comment here, tweet us @MediocreFight, find us on Facebook, shoot us an e-mail at The Mediocre Fight, or make a terrible music video for a catchy song that I will literally never be able to get out of my head.

Today’s Mediocre Fight is another cautionary tale to the youth of America.  Some think that the Dodo was killed off by being hunted into extinction, but the real reason was far more insidious.  Skinny Jeans.  The Dodo was always a fashion-conscious animal, some may even call it a trend-whore, and when they discovered skinny jeans all of the male dodos quickly adopted the style as their own.  Unfortunately, half the population was made sterile from the restrictive jeans cutting off blood flow to the Dodo’s naughty bits.  The half that wasn’t made sterile looked so ridiculous that no female dodo was willing to mate with them.  Within a decade, every last remaining dodo had died.  In conclusion – stop wearing skinny jeans.  You look like a tool and will cause the destruction of mankind.

Mediocre Fight of the Day: Feb 21, 2011

As always, if you have a mediocre fight you’d like to see contact us any way your little heart desires.  Leave a comment here, tweet us @MediocreFight, find us on Facebook, shoot us an e-mail at The Mediocre Fight, or get it tattooed across your back and walk around shirtless in front of us.

It’s a sad tale we’ve seen repeated all too often – adorable child actor is corrupted by the immense fame and fortune and eventually grows up to become lost in a desert with dead trees and tumbleweeds.  Oh wait… I guess this drawing is one of those “metaphors” I’ve been hearing about.  Most of them aren’t literally lost in the desert, but the future for them is often bleak and filled with tears, drug rehabilitation centers, photos of naughty bits leaked onto the internet, and celebrity reality TV shows.

A select few actually manage to win this battle (hi Ron Howard!), but for the rest of the celeb kids putting up a mediocre fight against the inevitable, we dedicate today’s post to you.

Mediocre Fight of the Day: Feb 13, 2011

As always, if you have a mediocre fight you’d like to see contact us any way your little heart desires.  Leave a comment here, tweet us @MediocreFight, find us on Facebook, shoot us an e-mail at The Mediocre Fight, or speak to us telepathically like in that movie Scanners.  Please refrain from explodifying our heads, though.  We’re somewhat attached to them (pun!).