Well it’s one of the two times in the year that people decide to make a resolution/sacrifice. Today is Lent, and for you non-Christians out there, that means it’s the start of 40 days where they have to give up something to make up for all of the debauchery that occurred on Fat Tuesday. What is Fat Tuesday? It’s the day of celebration before you have to make a sacrifice for 40 days. Yeah, it’s one of those “chicken or the egg” things but it ends up with a bunch of fatties drinking until they black out and then feeling bad about it for a little over a month.
You know, it also really says something about Americans when for both New Year’s and Lent, the vast majority of the resolutions have to do with food. I’d like to see more resolutions like “I want to win more at life.” Or a Lentsolution like “I’m going to give up not dating supermodels. I can’t deprive them of the joy of my company any longer!” And I’m sure Charlie Sheen’s resolution was something like “To challenge myself, I’m going to go batshit crazy and make money off the insanity.” Or if he wasn’t coherent at that point already it was probably just “Winning! Warlock! I put on my robe and wizard hat!” And for those of you that get that reference – you can be my friend.
And remember kids - Rhinoceroses don’t play games. They fucking charge your ass.
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