Apr 22 2011

Mediocre Fight of the Day: Turtles vs Ooze

The Mediocre Fight

YO! It’s the green machine
Gonna rock the town without bein’ seen
Have you ever seen a turtle Get Down?
Slammin’ and Jammin’ to the new swing sound
Yeah, everybody let’s move
Vanilla is here with the new Jack Groove
Gonna rock, and roll the place
With the power of the ninja turtle bass
Iceman, ya know I’m not playin’
Devistate the show while the turtles are sayin

Ninja, Ninja, RAP! Ninja, Ninja,
RAP! Ninja, Ninja, RAP!
GO GO GO GO
Go Ninja, Go Ninja, GO;
Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO!
Go Ninja, Go Ninja. GO;
Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO!
GO GO GO GO

Lyrics, fill in the gap
Drop that bass and get the NINJA RAP
Just feel it, if you know what I mean
Give it up for the heroes in green
Just flowin, smooth with the power
Kickin’ it up, hour after hour
Cause in this life there’s only one winner
You better aim straight so you can
hit the sinner
In it to win it, with a team of four
Ninja Turtles that you gotta adore it’s
the:

Ninja, Ninja, RAP! Ninja, Ninja,
RAP! Ninja, Ninja, RAP!
GO GO GO GO
Go Ninja, Go Ninja, GO;
Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO!
Go Ninja, Go Ninja. GO;
Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO!
GO GO GO GO

Villians, you better run and hide
Because one day you might not slide
So choose your weapon don’t slip
Vanilla’s in control with the flex of a mic grip
Rockin’ the crowd the way it should be rocked
With the Miami drop that you like alot
You know it’s hittin like a Ninja Turtle,
when the bass kicks in
You better check your level
The power of the Ninja is strong
Fightin’ off crooks until they’re all cold gone

Ninja, Ninja, RAP! Ninja, Ninja,
RAP! Ninja, Ninja, RAP!
GO GO GO GO
Go Ninja, Go Ninja, GO;
Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO!
Go Ninja, Go Ninja. GO;
Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO!
GO GO GO GO

Ice Ice Ice

Ninja, Ninja, RAP! Ninja, Ninja,
RAP! Ninja, Ninja, RAP!
GO GO GO GO
Go Ninja, Go Ninja, GO;
Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO!
Go Ninja, Go Ninja, GO;
Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO!
GO GO GO GO

Out with the gladiator, baby

 

 

 

As always, if YOU have a mediocre fight you’d like to see contact us any way your little heart desires.  Leave a comment here, tweet us @MediocreFight, find us on Facebook, shoot us an e-mail at The Mediocre Fight, or gain incredible ninja powers after being exposed to radioactive goo.



Feb 17 2011

Mediocre Fight of the Day: Snails Riding Turtles

The Mediocre Fight

It was an unholy alliance born out of greed and a need… a need for speed.  The slimy mashup of shelled demons can reach speeds of up to 1 miles per hour and have been known to strip the leaves off of the surrounding trees from their slipstream.  Watching these intense races is both exciting and terrifying, but your courage will be rewarded at the end when you get to dine on the delicious remains of the losers.

Also, if you’re thinking I got lazy today and just re-used the pictures from the last two days, you’d be wrong. I actually re-drew these from scratch using nothing but a paperclip and the blood from a mystical yak.  We don’t cut corners here at The Mediocre Fight.  Actually wait a second… that’s exactly what we do.  Wouldn’t be very mediocre if we tried hard.

Sails Riding Turtles vs Snails Riding Turtles

Mediocre Fight of the Day: Feb 17, 2011

As always, if you have a mediocre fight you’d like to see contact us any way your little heart desires.  Leave a comment here, tweet us @MediocreFight, find us on Facebook, shoot us an e-mail at The Mediocre Fight, or travel back in time to 1885 and have a letter delivered to us stating your wishes and any mediocre fights you want to see.


Feb 16 2011

Mediocre Fight of the Day: Turtle vs Turtle

The Mediocre Fight

Turtle racing is a form of unsanctioned and illegal reptile racing which takes place on public grassy areas.  Turtle racing can either be spontaneous or well-planned and coordinated. Well coordinated races are planned in advance and often have tortoises communicating via 2-way radio/citizens’ band radio and using police scanners and GPS units to mark locations of local police hot spots. Turtle racing is reported to have originated prior to the 1930s due to alcohol prohibition in some parts of the United States. Opponents of turtle racing cite a lack of safety relative to sanctioned racing events, as well as legal repercussions arising from incidents, among turtle racing’s drawbacks.

Wait, no, sorry, that’s still street racing.

Turtle Racing

As always, if you have a mediocre fight you’d like to see contact us any way your little heart desires.  Leave a comment here, tweet us @MediocreFight, find us on Facebook, shoot us an e-mail at The Mediocre Fight, or enter our dreams and perform an inception so we think we came up with your idea ourselves.  Careful though, my subconscious is filled with grizzlies with chainsaws for arms.