For Day 3 of our 4 day “Country Series” of mediocre fights, we have France vs Victory. I’m sure after this post we will be incredibly popular in France. I don’t actually know any real French people though because I only hob-nob with winners.
Now I did some research into this, and it turns out that indeed France has never won at anything – why do you think everyone in the country is so crabby? If there were an award given out to the country that loses everything, they would even lose that. Although I guess if anyone won that it would immediately be untrue, and would probably tear a hole in the space-time continuum. Hmm…
Anyways, some fun facts about France:
- France has a 0% military victory rate
- France lost a battle of wits against George W Bush
- If France were ever to have a civil war and fight against itself, it would cease to exist as a country after both sides lost
- France is the only country to ever lost a military battle to Platypuses. Platypi? No… platypuses sounds right.
- France’s electrical grid is powered by shame and croissants.
I should also clarify, when I said “did some research” I meant “made a bunch of shit up.”
As always, if you have a mediocre fight you’d like to see contact us any way your little heart desires. Leave a comment here, tweet us @MediocreFight, find us on Facebook, shoot us an e-mail at The Mediocre Fight, or write it on France’s white flag and wave it around.